Real Life S1 Episode 2

The Orphan Heart

As a child, my little orphan heart craved attention. I was constantly on the look out for attention from any man; my grandfather, uncles, or pastors. Women however, were scary. They looked at my family with suspicion. On more than one occasion my single mother was viewed as competition. As I began to age, that need for attention naturally turned to boys my own age. I ended up being a young lady with a huge God sized hole in my heart. That hole created a vacuum and sucked the life out of me. It was needy, hungry, and never able to be satisfied.

Now, I am a 39-year-old mother of three that is just now stepping into who I really am. But I wonder, what I would be like if I had been surrounded by powerful women that explained to me the value of just being me, a daughter of God. How much further might I be now, if someone had championed me then? The reality friends, is that there was no one able to do that for me. The church has taught women, for centuries that their purpose is found in marriage and motherhood. And you know what? Both of those things are holy and beautiful. But they do not determine the worth of a woman in the eyes of God. There is so much more! Our churches are full of women who have been taught that their value is directly connected to men. This creates a competitive “me vs them” attitude among women. Then, they are condemned as “jezebel spirits” by the very communities that have raised them to crave male attention.

Frankly ladies, I demand of myself that I will be different. I dare you to be different! I double dog dare you to begin championing other women. To look at them, not as competition, but as team mates. I dare you to spread the message that you , me and every other female on this planet are valuable, beautiful, and gloriously needed just for being who we are. I dare you to champion the gifts and talents of other women. What will happen if we raise up a generation of daughters who are not just un moved by the world’s standard of beauty, but willing to reshape it? What will happen if we raise girls that are allowed to follow their passions and giftings into ministry, technology, arts and science? What will happen if we take the biblical examples of powerful women like Miriam, Deborah, Ruth, Abigail, Mary, Lydia, or Pricilla and make them the standard? These were women who led a nation in worship, led an army into battle , saved entire households, gave birth to the new covenant, and planted portions of the new testament church.

I believe there would be a revolution. I believe we would begin to see health and wholeness as the norm. I believe marriages and families would really thrive. I believe the kingdom of God would begin to advance on earth at a more rapid pace. I’m willing, are you?

6 replies
  1. Shirley Nelson
    Shirley Nelson says:

    Thank you so much for doing this Hayley. You are such a blessing to the body of Christ! Just a little while before I listened to this I was reading Romans 9 in The Passion Translation and thought it ties in so well with what you were sharing here. Verse 26 – “In the place where they were told, ‘You are nobody,’ this will be the very place where they will be renamed ‘Children of the living God.’ ”

  2. Rachel Martineau
    Rachel Martineau says:

    Amen! Thank you Hayley for your vulnerability and willingness to encourage your sisters around you! I appreciate your heart and boldness. These videos and your story are blessing more than you know. Thank you again! Love you


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